Yep, Volume 1, Issue 5. It appears Issue 4 will be a collectors item (as well as a forgery, if you see it). But here's a recap of tonight's action.
Very excellent crab crowd tonight. A lot of new people, as well as a few regulars. Sonny came to the table with thirty-one crabs and picked up three more before we got started. Race row was full, save your seat, which Nurse Holly saved for your you. So we ran with it empty (kind of like the riderless horse thing, except you're not dead, just at the lakes). We had several newbies on race row as well as a couple of greens. I think Andrea farted during the deep breath portion leading up to the anthem (there's a bill in Congress against that kind of thing, but the repubs don't have the votes to get it passed).
Like I said, good crowd. Facial Shot was back to full strength, although there were a few different faces. The bar was full, as well as most of the tables. I really didn't have a clue what I was in the mood to play before the race. When I got there, Steve had already put on ********* *********, so I just let it play. It worked great. The weather was good. Steve had both doors open, no A/C, no heat, so the Crabs loved it. They ran good and we finished minus three. Back to normal after last week's minus fourteen sprint. Oh yeah, the missing Volume 4 chronicles the unheard of hour and sixteen minute show. I think I was reading Carlos Castaneda and he talked about the hour and fifteen minute "barrier". That when you did a crab race in an hour and fifteen minutes or less, you began to attain a conciousness that was as if you were moved to a whole other reality. A different plane of existence. Or maybe he was talking about peyote. I'll have to get back to you on that one. Anyway, Nelia in the Kitchen, Rhonda on the floor, Rick and Steve behind the bar, and me? Well I was on a different plane of existence. Here's what happened-
Pre-Race
Space Crab Racing
Trivia Answers
1) Mercury
2) Mars
3) 120
4) The Moon
5) Jupiter
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flagholder- Pat 44- Bees Buckeye Balls (some Ohio thing)
Intro:
Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- 61 Four Inches of Dangling Fury- Rob (Buddha's crab is back)
2) Winner- 26 LICK MY NUTS!- Buddha (except Buddha didn't get it)
3) Winner- 36 Me So Horny- Carl
4) Winner- If The Van is a Rockin', It Means We're F*ckin' (another Ohio thing)- Mike
5) Winner- 95 She Said She Wouldn't Go After My Retirement Fund, THAT LYIN' B*TCH!- Garl (not Carl, Garl)
6) Winner- 89 Hey Rhonda, GET ME A B*ER!- Facial Shot
7) Winner- 75 I Was In the Pool and It Was Cold- Sean
8) Winner- Shuttle My C*ck and I'll Owe You One- John
Halftime
Second Half:
9) Winner- 44 Bees Buckeye Balls- Pat
10) Winner- 13 It May Be Small, But At Least I'm Good At Math- Jeremy
11) Winner- 51 Vaginaterian- Dave
12) Winner- 4 Crusty Crab- Greg
13) Winner- 90 Beaver Beater- Matt (as far as ninety goes tonight)
14) Winner- 70 You Gotta Be Sh*ttin' Me- Carmino
15) Winner- 7 Go Dammit Go- Facial Shot
16) Winner- 37 Crabs-R-Us- Jeff (Carl)
Goodbye Losers:
Bob & Tom Semifinals:
1) Winner- 61 Four Inches...- Rob
2) Winner- 89 Hey Rhonda, ...- FS
3) Winner- 51 Vaginaterian- Dave
4) Winner- 4 Crusty Crab- Greg (Race #4, Crab #4?!)
Finals
Time: Minus three
Fourth Place- HW&AWD - 89 Hey Rhonda, GET ME A BEER!
Third Place- T-Shirt- 51 Vaginaterian- Dave
Second Place- $20- 4 Crusty Crab- Greg (so much for the numerology thing)
First Place- $30- 61 Four Inches of Dangling Fury- Rob (Undefeated. Buddha's Crab is back)
Again, a very good crowd, although the shark was thrown. Fortunately, it was a redhead that did the throwing, and redheads always get a pass. And the shark did return with a wadded up napkin in it's mouth. Oh well, that's the kind of world we live in. See you Saturday night I suppose.
Until then, in the words of Madeline Kahn- "If it's Wednesday, it's wacing".
ciao
j
Very excellent crab crowd tonight. A lot of new people, as well as a few regulars. Sonny came to the table with thirty-one crabs and picked up three more before we got started. Race row was full, save your seat, which Nurse Holly saved for your you. So we ran with it empty (kind of like the riderless horse thing, except you're not dead, just at the lakes). We had several newbies on race row as well as a couple of greens. I think Andrea farted during the deep breath portion leading up to the anthem (there's a bill in Congress against that kind of thing, but the repubs don't have the votes to get it passed).
Like I said, good crowd. Facial Shot was back to full strength, although there were a few different faces. The bar was full, as well as most of the tables. I really didn't have a clue what I was in the mood to play before the race. When I got there, Steve had already put on ********* *********, so I just let it play. It worked great. The weather was good. Steve had both doors open, no A/C, no heat, so the Crabs loved it. They ran good and we finished minus three. Back to normal after last week's minus fourteen sprint. Oh yeah, the missing Volume 4 chronicles the unheard of hour and sixteen minute show. I think I was reading Carlos Castaneda and he talked about the hour and fifteen minute "barrier". That when you did a crab race in an hour and fifteen minutes or less, you began to attain a conciousness that was as if you were moved to a whole other reality. A different plane of existence. Or maybe he was talking about peyote. I'll have to get back to you on that one. Anyway, Nelia in the Kitchen, Rhonda on the floor, Rick and Steve behind the bar, and me? Well I was on a different plane of existence. Here's what happened-
Pre-Race
Space Crab Racing
Trivia Answers
1) Mercury
2) Mars
3) 120
4) The Moon
5) Jupiter
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flagholder- Pat 44- Bees Buckeye Balls (some Ohio thing)
Intro:
Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- 61 Four Inches of Dangling Fury- Rob (Buddha's crab is back)
2) Winner- 26 LICK MY NUTS!- Buddha (except Buddha didn't get it)
3) Winner- 36 Me So Horny- Carl
4) Winner- If The Van is a Rockin', It Means We're F*ckin' (another Ohio thing)- Mike
5) Winner- 95 She Said She Wouldn't Go After My Retirement Fund, THAT LYIN' B*TCH!- Garl (not Carl, Garl)
6) Winner- 89 Hey Rhonda, GET ME A B*ER!- Facial Shot
7) Winner- 75 I Was In the Pool and It Was Cold- Sean
8) Winner- Shuttle My C*ck and I'll Owe You One- John
Halftime
Second Half:
9) Winner- 44 Bees Buckeye Balls- Pat
10) Winner- 13 It May Be Small, But At Least I'm Good At Math- Jeremy
11) Winner- 51 Vaginaterian- Dave
12) Winner- 4 Crusty Crab- Greg
13) Winner- 90 Beaver Beater- Matt (as far as ninety goes tonight)
14) Winner- 70 You Gotta Be Sh*ttin' Me- Carmino
15) Winner- 7 Go Dammit Go- Facial Shot
16) Winner- 37 Crabs-R-Us- Jeff (Carl)
Goodbye Losers:
Bob & Tom Semifinals:
1) Winner- 61 Four Inches...- Rob
2) Winner- 89 Hey Rhonda, ...- FS
3) Winner- 51 Vaginaterian- Dave
4) Winner- 4 Crusty Crab- Greg (Race #4, Crab #4?!)
Finals
Time: Minus three
Fourth Place- HW&AWD - 89 Hey Rhonda, GET ME A BEER!
Third Place- T-Shirt- 51 Vaginaterian- Dave
Second Place- $20- 4 Crusty Crab- Greg (so much for the numerology thing)
First Place- $30- 61 Four Inches of Dangling Fury- Rob (Undefeated. Buddha's Crab is back)
Again, a very good crowd, although the shark was thrown. Fortunately, it was a redhead that did the throwing, and redheads always get a pass. And the shark did return with a wadded up napkin in it's mouth. Oh well, that's the kind of world we live in. See you Saturday night I suppose.
Until then, in the words of Madeline Kahn- "If it's Wednesday, it's wacing".
ciao
j
Comments