Hoy Hoy!! Greetings from Casa Dos Gatos!
If I could find a bear right now, I’d kick his ass and make him carry this goddamn canoe.
-Nancy K
I don’t know if you remember Nancy, but she might weigh a hundred and ten pounds and I'm pretty sure she could have got it done. I believe she had just completed the 180 rod portage that connects Sandpit Lake and Tin Can Mike Lake (nasty up and down trail). And that 85 pound Coleman Ram X that she was wearing for a hat didn’t help her temperament one bit.
Once again I’ve let three weeks slide by without doing the post, and my notes are crap this week, so this is gonna be a crap shoot. Any resemblance to reality is purely dumb luck-
An intimate crowd this week. Some newbies at the Row- Tom, Rose, Al, and Joan. Jim and Brenda across the way, and a couple of Facial Shotters to my left. Julie moves to Race Row from her usual seat in the Skyboxes and The Original Sarah joins Our Hosts, her Parental Units, at the Jukebox table. Rob behind the bar, Nelia in the Kitchen, Rhonda on the floor, and me? Well, you know how much I love-
Beers Of The World Crab Racing
PreRace:
Trivia Answers:
(Warning- Wait one hour after eating before clicking on Potted Meat links!!)
1) Ram- Potted Meat
2) Croquet- Potted Meat
3) Quebec- Potted Meat
4) Orioles- Potted Meat
5) Frank Robinson- Potted Meat
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flagholder- Rose (#15 Crusty Sixty-Nine)
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Intro:
Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- #Super Folkie- RECEIVES NO PRIZE!!!!
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #51 Oriental Lickmaster Tongue Ninja- Chainsaw Sisters Racing (CSR)- Jagermeister Love Leash
3) Winner- #84 Pudgy Pruck- Tom- Snickers
4) Winner- #15 Crusty Sixty-Nine- Rose- Beads
5) Winner- #9 Lomax- Another Craig- Butterfinger
6) Winner- #87 What Happens In The Aquarium, Stays In The Aquarium (WHITASITA)- CSR- Twix
7) Winner- #39 Auggie- Brenda- Beads
8) Winner- #44 Dipsh*t- Joan- A Soup Sandwich
Halftime:
Second Half:
9) Winner- #71 For The Best Haircut In Town, See Al.- Jim- Nestlé’s Crunch
Halftime Entries:
I don’t recall
10) Winner- #74 This Chocolate Pudding TASTES LIKE SH*T!!!- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)- Pen
11) Winner- #77 I’m A Hard Habit To Break- Folkie’s Fokkers FF- Mug
12) Winner- #00 Hey Rhonda, GET ME A BEER!!!- FF- Love Leash
122-109
13) Winner- #10 It’s Me It’s Me It’s Ernest T- FSR- Butterfinger
14) Winner- #45 You Want A Blow Jab? I’ll Bet You Do- FF- Key Chain
15) Winner- #97 Free Dominic Rhodes- FF- Total Consciousness
16) Winner- #55 She Told Me She Wasn’t Married. THAT LYIN’ BITCH!!!- FF- Total Unconsciousness
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
(Lomax disqualified. Lottery Pick #69 Bunazzle)
1) Winner- #71 For The Best Haircut In Town, See Al.- Jim
2) Winner- #87 What Happens In The Aquarium, Stays In The Aquarium- Chainsaw Sisters Racing
3) Winner- #84 Pudgy Prack- Tom
4) Winner- #44 Dipsh*t- Joan
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done (HW&AWD)- #71 For The Best Haircut In Town, See Al.- Jim
Third Place- T-Shirt- #84 Pudgy Prock- Tom
Second Place- $20- #87 What Happens In The Aquarium, Stays In The Aquarium- Chainsaw Sisters Racing
First Place- $30- #44 Dipsh*t- Joan
Time:
Minus three
Tonight’s “Weird But True”. All second half races were won by Fokkers or Facial Shotters (none of which advanced to the finals).
So here we are, three weeks, one trip to Vegas, and one television celebrity later, Issue IV hits the cyberwaves. I’m pretty sure nobody out there but Steve noticed that Issue IV from last year is absent from your CrabLine Archive (although it may be that Steve is the only one out there with a CrabLine Archive). It appears that I have trouble birthin’ this particular number.
Nonetheless, here it is. As far as I can recall, a fun time was had by all. Back racing on March 21st. We’ll have a special Bonus Prize, a copy of the Crab Racing Movie, “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s” to the Champion that night. So until then, in the words of Madeline Kahn- "If it's Wednesday, it's wacing”.
Ciao for nao
If I could find a bear right now, I’d kick his ass and make him carry this goddamn canoe.
-Nancy K
I don’t know if you remember Nancy, but she might weigh a hundred and ten pounds and I'm pretty sure she could have got it done. I believe she had just completed the 180 rod portage that connects Sandpit Lake and Tin Can Mike Lake (nasty up and down trail). And that 85 pound Coleman Ram X that she was wearing for a hat didn’t help her temperament one bit.
Once again I’ve let three weeks slide by without doing the post, and my notes are crap this week, so this is gonna be a crap shoot. Any resemblance to reality is purely dumb luck-
An intimate crowd this week. Some newbies at the Row- Tom, Rose, Al, and Joan. Jim and Brenda across the way, and a couple of Facial Shotters to my left. Julie moves to Race Row from her usual seat in the Skyboxes and The Original Sarah joins Our Hosts, her Parental Units, at the Jukebox table. Rob behind the bar, Nelia in the Kitchen, Rhonda on the floor, and me? Well, you know how much I love-
Beers Of The World Crab Racing
PreRace:
Trivia Answers:
(Warning- Wait one hour after eating before clicking on Potted Meat links!!)
1) Ram- Potted Meat
2) Croquet- Potted Meat
3) Quebec- Potted Meat
4) Orioles- Potted Meat
5) Frank Robinson- Potted Meat
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flagholder- Rose (#15 Crusty Sixty-Nine)
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Intro:
Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- #Super Folkie- RECEIVES NO PRIZE!!!!
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #51 Oriental Lickmaster Tongue Ninja- Chainsaw Sisters Racing (CSR)- Jagermeister Love Leash
3) Winner- #84 Pudgy Pruck- Tom- Snickers
4) Winner- #15 Crusty Sixty-Nine- Rose- Beads
5) Winner- #9 Lomax- Another Craig- Butterfinger
6) Winner- #87 What Happens In The Aquarium, Stays In The Aquarium (WHITASITA)- CSR- Twix
7) Winner- #39 Auggie- Brenda- Beads
8) Winner- #44 Dipsh*t- Joan- A Soup Sandwich
Halftime:
Second Half:
9) Winner- #71 For The Best Haircut In Town, See Al.- Jim- Nestlé’s Crunch
Halftime Entries:
I don’t recall
10) Winner- #74 This Chocolate Pudding TASTES LIKE SH*T!!!- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)- Pen
11) Winner- #77 I’m A Hard Habit To Break- Folkie’s Fokkers FF- Mug
12) Winner- #00 Hey Rhonda, GET ME A BEER!!!- FF- Love Leash
122-109
13) Winner- #10 It’s Me It’s Me It’s Ernest T- FSR- Butterfinger
14) Winner- #45 You Want A Blow Jab? I’ll Bet You Do- FF- Key Chain
15) Winner- #97 Free Dominic Rhodes- FF- Total Consciousness
16) Winner- #55 She Told Me She Wasn’t Married. THAT LYIN’ BITCH!!!- FF- Total Unconsciousness
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
(Lomax disqualified. Lottery Pick #69 Bunazzle)
1) Winner- #71 For The Best Haircut In Town, See Al.- Jim
2) Winner- #87 What Happens In The Aquarium, Stays In The Aquarium- Chainsaw Sisters Racing
3) Winner- #84 Pudgy Prack- Tom
4) Winner- #44 Dipsh*t- Joan
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done (HW&AWD)- #71 For The Best Haircut In Town, See Al.- Jim
Third Place- T-Shirt- #84 Pudgy Prock- Tom
Second Place- $20- #87 What Happens In The Aquarium, Stays In The Aquarium- Chainsaw Sisters Racing
First Place- $30- #44 Dipsh*t- Joan
Time:
Minus three
Tonight’s “Weird But True”. All second half races were won by Fokkers or Facial Shotters (none of which advanced to the finals).
So here we are, three weeks, one trip to Vegas, and one television celebrity later, Issue IV hits the cyberwaves. I’m pretty sure nobody out there but Steve noticed that Issue IV from last year is absent from your CrabLine Archive (although it may be that Steve is the only one out there with a CrabLine Archive). It appears that I have trouble birthin’ this particular number.
Nonetheless, here it is. As far as I can recall, a fun time was had by all. Back racing on March 21st. We’ll have a special Bonus Prize, a copy of the Crab Racing Movie, “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s” to the Champion that night. So until then, in the words of Madeline Kahn- "If it's Wednesday, it's wacing”.
Ciao for nao
j
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