Crab Racing USA

Buenos Nachos-
Hope everything is good in Indiana’s Lake Country. The JB Reunion’s coming up pretty soon, sorry you’re going to miss it. Maybe you can sneak back and catch a little action on Sunday. Tom and his family will be hanging around and I’ve got a couple of days off (theoretically), so I’ll be in no rush to get back to Mayberry. Maybe Sunday night.


Another Wednesday night and Al Fresco is chased inside by the chance for showers. Shame, we could have used the room. Crammed in like St. Patty’s day. Jim and Brenda were in their customary places on Race Row. They were joined by Mike and his tightly strung banjos. Facial Shot had a big group at the far window table and Twisted Fisters were huge down the south wall to the window. My old friend Angie and her twins were sharing a table in the middle with some friends, and the Skyboxes were all full. Add some miscellaneous racers at the loud table and the jukebox table and you’ve got yourself one packed house. Steve was at the wheel. Rob was behind the bar. Nelia was in the kitchen and Rhonda was on the floor, serving us all. And me? I was just thinking, is there anything more patriotic than-

Crab Racing USA-

PreRace:
Some of
this. And this. And especially this

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Green Bay Packers- Koozie
2) 100- Potted Meat
3) Alaska- Jagermeister Hat
4) North Carolina- Butterfinger
5) Sioux- Love Leash

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flagholder- Christie- I Succumb (sp?)

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries
First Half:
1)Winner- #93 Shove An M80 Up My A**- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing (TBS)- A Shrubbery

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- RECEIVES NO PRIZE!!!! Super Folkie
3) Winner- #64 Dammit Jim- Brenda- Koozie
4) Winner- #77 Just Don’t Give A Damn- Jim- Butterfinger
5) Winner- #45 Anita Dickenmie- Twisted Fisters Racing (TFR)- Love Leash
6) Winner- #67 Rupert Rottencrotch- TFR- Jagermeister Semi Flashing Button (SFB)
7) Winner- - #88 If You’re Crabby And You Know It- Lisa- Miller Lite Keychain
8) Winner- #26 Money Shot- TFR- Energy Drink

Halftime:
Some of this. And this as well.

Second Half:
9) Winner- #71 Mounting Rushmore- TFR- Golf Balls

Halftime Entries:
Not tonight!

10) Winner- #57 Slow Fack- Bitches-R-Back Racing- Miller Lite Keychain
11) Winner- #55 Poke Her In Her Ear So She Can Hear You Coming- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)

The Wave

12) Winner- #50 Obama- Katie- SFB
13) Winner- #5 The Big O From Intercourse Pennsylvania- TFR- A Newt
14) Winner- #8 Sandy Bottom- Sandy & Paul Racing- SFB
15) Winner- #25 How Come You Saw Fireworks And All I Felt Was A Fizzle?- TBS- Energy Drink
16) Winner- #80 Horny Little Bitch- FSR- Pen

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #5 The Big O From Intercourse Pennsylvania- TFR
2) Winner- SUPER FOLKIE!!!
3) Winner- #64 Dammit Jim- Brenda
4) Winner- #77 Just Don’t Give A Damn- Jim

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #64 Dammit Jim- Brenda
Third Place- $T-shirt- #77 Just Don’t Give A Damn- Jim
Second Place- $15 (Plus a copy of “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s”)-#5 The Big O From Intercourse Pennsylvania- TFR
First Place- $25 (To be carried over to next time)- SUPER FOLKIE!!!

Time:

Minus One

So there it is. Twisted Fisters pull a Powell Doctrine and lead the field, but Super Folkie takes the cash. The Banjo gang gets the first race, and I’m thinking they’ll continue to get better.

That’s about it. Great crowd, big and loud. Can’t wait for the next one. I’ll catch you later, and in the words of
Madeline Kahn- “If it’s Wednesday, it’s wacing.

Ciao for nao

j

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