Brickyard Crab Racing

Chimichanga Cheesy Burrito-
Hope all went well in the Peach State this past week. I trust Hard Labor Creek State Park was more pleasant than its name suggests. Beautiful weather in Indiana, even the rain tonite had a nice vibe.

Big huge hot night in the Folkiedome this evening. Cars filled the lot and I’m sure that I heard someone say that they had to park a quarter of a mile away and hike in. I think that’s what they said. Big raucous crowd. Very very close to the feel of the
Golden Age type crowd, big teams and disgusting names. A lot like the old days.

Brickyard Crab Racing at Folkie’s tonite. Forty-three Crabs on the grid. Natural Sellout. It think that makes four sellouts in a row (three Natural, one
Not Natural). The Brickyard Board is the newest Crab Racing surface, it’s also the heaviest. The main reason being that it’s made of bricks.

There were a lot more people than I can name, but I’ll see if I can get most of them. Turkish was representing a nice group in the loud corner to Sonny’s right. Berto and Pam were in the Skyboxes at the Bar, joined by the Dick Stillhard Racing Team (down from Fort Wayne, good to see ya). Angie, the Twins, and some of their beautiful friends were holding down the
West End of the bar, directly in front of The Shocker Racing Team (The Surgeon General advises strongly against standing directly in front of The Shocker Racing Team, unless you like that kind of thing). Mike and the Banjo Stringers had at least a dozen in the Southwest corner, and may have had overflow at the Juke Box Table. Another Mike had your chair and Sheila joined him (she actually had her own chair). Our peeps from Kokomo, those Twisted Fisters had eleven nevers and an ever to complete Race Row (that big board comes in handy).

Steve and Darnell were manning the oars. Rick (yep, that Rick) behind the Bar. Nelia in the kitchen. Rhonda on the floor (serving us all). And me? Did I mention that that fackin' table is heavy-


Brickyard Crab Racing-


PreRace:
Some of
this. And this. And this.

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Nelson Rockefeller- Potted Meat (PM)
2) Shazam- T-shirt
3) New York- PM
4) From Here To Eternity- Flashing Jagermeister Button (FJB)
5) Cologne- PM

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flagholder- Dina- Kurt And Kyle Can Chase My Busch Anytime

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries

First Half:

1) Winner- #74 EJ- Annette- Keychain

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #77 Jowls Deep In Phyllis Diller’s Pussy- Dick Stillhard Racing (DSR)- Love Leash (LL)
3) Winner- #99 Second Hand Doyle- Dan- Pen
4) Winner- #61 426 Hemi Powered Uterus Buster- Twisted Fister Racing (TFR)- Chip Clip
5) Winner- #96 Damn, My Breath Smells Like Ass- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing (TBS)- Ruler
6) Winner- #64 Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine- DSR- FJB
7) Winner- - #50 Willie Fisterbottom- The Shocker Racing Team (SRT)
8) Winner- #35 Come Squirting Jism Queen- TFR- Chip Clip

Halftime:
Some of this. And this as well.

115-121


Second Half:

9) Winner- #88 Fuctron 3000- DSR- LL

Halftime Entries:

Not tonite

10) Winner- #10 I’m Only Four Inches But Some Girls Like it That Thick- Folkie’s Fokkers (FF)- LL
11) Winner- #26 Swallow Or It’s Going In Your Eye- Turkish- FJB
12) Winner- #70 I’m The Dancing Hot Dog. Eat Me- Sheila- LL

The Wave

13) Winner- #53 Lychalotapus- Bob (backwards it’s boB)- Multi-Tool
14) Winner- #29 G Spot? Jeff Couldn’t Find It With Dale’s Dick- TBS- Pen
15) Winner- #19 Facker- Brian- FJB
16) Winner- #65 Jeff, Get Off My Ass, I’m Not That Way- TBS- Golf Balls

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:

1) Winner- #74 EJ- Annette
2) Winner- #77 Jowls Deep In Phyllis Diller’s Pussy- Dick Stillhard Racing
3) Winner- #50 Willie Fisterbottom- The Shocker Racing Team
4) Winner- #65 Jeff, Get Off My Ass, I’m Not That Way- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done - #74 EJ- Annette
Third Place- T-shirt- #50 Willie Fisterbottom- The Shocker Racing Team
Second Place- $20 #65 Jeff, Get Off My Ass, I’m Not That Way- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing
First Place- $30 #77 Jowls Deep In Phyllis Diller’s Pussy- Dick Stillhard Racing

Time:

On the money

Man, what a night. Another strong performance from Mike and his Tight Banjo type people. The Shockers get their first podium a week before they’re sanctioned. Dick Stillhard comes down and takes three of the first nine and steals the Corvette. And the Fisters get shut out of the Finals after winning three of four last week. That was a Crab Race.

I think I’ll be up to PdG for a few days the week after next. Hopefully Marph and Kait will be able to join us. We’ll have to wait and see.

In the words of
Madeline Kahn- “If it’s Wednesday, it’s wacing.

Ciao for nao

j

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