Chimichanga Cheesy Burrito!
Greetings form Casa dos Gatos. Truly a night to remember. Not only is it the Hoagland Premiere of Baseball Crab racing, I was able to browbeat my own Personal Goddess, Mrs. Jxn, into accompanying me on the trip. As incredible as it seems, she hasn’t been to a Crab Race since the very early nineties. We got there in time for a decent dinner and the room filled up nicely as we ate. The room continued to fill to the point that Racers overflowed into the restaurant side of the Three Kings.
Luckily Sonny had brought up ten extra Crabs from the Minors, so he was carrying an unheard of fifty-three Crabs. He was able to sell all fifty-three for a Natural Sellout. I believe one of the Elkhart Races sold 49 a couple of months ago, but I think that there were Second Chance Crabs sold that evening. I may be wrong. Nonetheless, The Three Kings was packed. Standing Room Only. Mike and Sheila brought the Crabby Old Farts vibe up from Mayberry. Shannon came down with a group of serious Veteran Crab Racers from Fort Wayne. I think Sonny said they used to Race back in the Eighties. The place was wall to wall Crabbers. Dave’s got the helm, as well as tending the Bar. John’s back in the Kitchen (I recommend the Ribs). Jill-Bob’s on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! We’ve got 10 Nevers and an Ever on Race Row, 149 Cards, and 53 Crabs, I think it’s time for-
Baseball Crab Racing-
PreRace:
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Chicago Cubs
2) Washington Senators
3) Leo Durocher
4) Gil Hodges
5) Nine to nothing
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Kara
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #51 Speedy Gonzales- Sally
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #65 Crab, The Other White Meat- Megan
3) Winner- #5 I’m Wearing Edible Underwear- Shannon
4) Winner- #85 Wilma Fingerdieux- Crabby Old Farts (COF)
5) Winner- #2 Forrest. Forrest Gump
6) Winner- #49 I’m Throwing A Party Between My Legs. Wanna Come?- Amanda
Seventh Inning Stretch
7) Winner- #46 Belinda- Linda
8) Winner- #9 Crazy Legs- Carla
Halftime:
Some of this.
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #7 Dub- Mike
Halftime Entries:
Not tonite
10) Winner- #64 Hot & Heavy- Bill (Replaced by #81 Sea Duck- Kara)
11) Winner- #53 Close Stroker- Lynn
The Wave
12) Winner- #34 Oliver Twist. I Love A Good Dickens- COF
13) Winner- #0 Babeeezzz- Hadley
14) Winner- #35 Lil Booger
15) Winner- #52 Auggie- Pam
16) Winner- #42 Captain Man Meat- Brian
Extra Innings
17) Winner- 14 Ralph- Michelle (replaced by #19 Jill-Bob- Jill Bob)
18) Winner- 27 Happy Camper- Kenny
19) Winner- 78 Henry- Mike (replaced by #69 Shorty- Jack)
20) Winner- Jizz Muffin- Jim
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
1) Winner- #51 Speedy Gonzales- Sally
2) Winner- #65 Crab, The Other White Meat- Megan
3) Winner- #46 Belinda- Linda
4) Winner- #85 Wilma Fingerdieux- Crabby Old Farts
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done (Plus a copy of the Crab Racing Documentary- “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s”)- #65 Crab, The Other White Meat- Megan
Third Place- $10- #46 Belinda- Linda
Second Place- $15 -#85 Wilma Fingerdieux- Crabby Old Farts
First Place- $25 -#51 Speedy Gonzales- Sally
Time:
Plus Thirteen*
A historical night, to say the least. With the large number of Crabs, we invoked Rule #7 which says that if you have more than fifty Crabs, you run an extra set of Preliminary Heats. Rule #7 also automatically invokes Rule #7a which states that the Crowd will yell- “What FIVE Crabs are they, Sonny, Sonny, Sonny, Sonny, Sonny? during the Semi-Final Phase of the competition. The crowd handled the changes smashingly.
Megan walks away with the Movie, or as she put it, “Crab porn”. Linda takes Third. The Crabby Old Farts sneak up from Marion to grab Second. And Sally takes First and a Mythical Corvette, with #51 who is now six-for-April.
The Crabs return to The Three Kings on May the 9th on a board that is yet to be determined. I can truly say that Crab Fever has infected Hoagland. If you can make it up on the 9th do so, you won’t be disappointed. Until then, he’s Sonny Starr.
Ciao for nao
j
Greetings form Casa dos Gatos. Truly a night to remember. Not only is it the Hoagland Premiere of Baseball Crab racing, I was able to browbeat my own Personal Goddess, Mrs. Jxn, into accompanying me on the trip. As incredible as it seems, she hasn’t been to a Crab Race since the very early nineties. We got there in time for a decent dinner and the room filled up nicely as we ate. The room continued to fill to the point that Racers overflowed into the restaurant side of the Three Kings.
Luckily Sonny had brought up ten extra Crabs from the Minors, so he was carrying an unheard of fifty-three Crabs. He was able to sell all fifty-three for a Natural Sellout. I believe one of the Elkhart Races sold 49 a couple of months ago, but I think that there were Second Chance Crabs sold that evening. I may be wrong. Nonetheless, The Three Kings was packed. Standing Room Only. Mike and Sheila brought the Crabby Old Farts vibe up from Mayberry. Shannon came down with a group of serious Veteran Crab Racers from Fort Wayne. I think Sonny said they used to Race back in the Eighties. The place was wall to wall Crabbers. Dave’s got the helm, as well as tending the Bar. John’s back in the Kitchen (I recommend the Ribs). Jill-Bob’s on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! We’ve got 10 Nevers and an Ever on Race Row, 149 Cards, and 53 Crabs, I think it’s time for-
Baseball Crab Racing-
PreRace:
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Chicago Cubs
2) Washington Senators
3) Leo Durocher
4) Gil Hodges
5) Nine to nothing
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Kara
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #51 Speedy Gonzales- Sally
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #65 Crab, The Other White Meat- Megan
3) Winner- #5 I’m Wearing Edible Underwear- Shannon
4) Winner- #85 Wilma Fingerdieux- Crabby Old Farts (COF)
5) Winner- #2 Forrest. Forrest Gump
6) Winner- #49 I’m Throwing A Party Between My Legs. Wanna Come?- Amanda
Seventh Inning Stretch
7) Winner- #46 Belinda- Linda
8) Winner- #9 Crazy Legs- Carla
Halftime:
Some of this.
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #7 Dub- Mike
Halftime Entries:
Not tonite
10) Winner- #64 Hot & Heavy- Bill (Replaced by #81 Sea Duck- Kara)
11) Winner- #53 Close Stroker- Lynn
The Wave
12) Winner- #34 Oliver Twist. I Love A Good Dickens- COF
13) Winner- #0 Babeeezzz- Hadley
14) Winner- #35 Lil Booger
15) Winner- #52 Auggie- Pam
16) Winner- #42 Captain Man Meat- Brian
Extra Innings
17) Winner- 14 Ralph- Michelle (replaced by #19 Jill-Bob- Jill Bob)
18) Winner- 27 Happy Camper- Kenny
19) Winner- 78 Henry- Mike (replaced by #69 Shorty- Jack)
20) Winner- Jizz Muffin- Jim
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
1) Winner- #51 Speedy Gonzales- Sally
2) Winner- #65 Crab, The Other White Meat- Megan
3) Winner- #46 Belinda- Linda
4) Winner- #85 Wilma Fingerdieux- Crabby Old Farts
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done (Plus a copy of the Crab Racing Documentary- “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s”)- #65 Crab, The Other White Meat- Megan
Third Place- $10- #46 Belinda- Linda
Second Place- $15 -#85 Wilma Fingerdieux- Crabby Old Farts
First Place- $25 -#51 Speedy Gonzales- Sally
Time:
Plus Thirteen*
A historical night, to say the least. With the large number of Crabs, we invoked Rule #7 which says that if you have more than fifty Crabs, you run an extra set of Preliminary Heats. Rule #7 also automatically invokes Rule #7a which states that the Crowd will yell- “What FIVE Crabs are they, Sonny, Sonny, Sonny, Sonny, Sonny? during the Semi-Final Phase of the competition. The crowd handled the changes smashingly.
Megan walks away with the Movie, or as she put it, “Crab porn”. Linda takes Third. The Crabby Old Farts sneak up from Marion to grab Second. And Sally takes First and a Mythical Corvette, with #51 who is now six-for-April.
The Crabs return to The Three Kings on May the 9th on a board that is yet to be determined. I can truly say that Crab Fever has infected Hoagland. If you can make it up on the 9th do so, you won’t be disappointed. Until then, he’s Sonny Starr.
Ciao for nao
j
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