(view from the dj's perch)
PreRace:Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Perry Como
2) Cash
3) Hippocrates
4) Rome
5) Ace Of Spades
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Lindsey
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #SC- Hi. My Name Is Super Crab. Bitch- Jake
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #22 Herbal Assault- Chainsaw Sisters Racing (CSR)
3) Winner- #69 Sixty-Nine Her- Scotty
4) Winner- #53 Toilet Seat Jumper- Ryan
5) Winner- #75 He said Faq Me Silly, So I Put On A Clown Suit- Tiffany
6) Winner- #68 Hairy Little Shit- Shits And Giggles Racing (SGR)
7) Winner- #BC Bat Rod- Mary
8) Winner- #15 Speedy Demon- Jill
Halftime:
Some of this.
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #55 Mo Pete- Sarah
Halftime Entries:
Not In Crabsville USA
10) Winner- #4 Buddy- Megan
11) Winner- #41 I Thought I Had A Case Of The Crabs But I Only Counted Twenty-Three- Crabby Old Farts Racing (COF)
The Wave
12) Winner- #51 Damn! We’re In A Tight Spot- CSR
13) Winner- #16 Bill- Stan (Replaced by #26 Rangoon running for Alisha
14) Winner- #64 Shit For Brains- SGR
15) Winner- #40 Sly Warrior- Team Greyhound (TGR)
16) Winner- #88 I’m Throwing A Party Between My Legs. Wanna Come?- Amy
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
1) Winner- #SC- Hi. My Name Is Super Crab. Bitch- Jake
2) Winner- #22 Herbal Assault- Chainsaw Sisters Racing
3) Winner- #69 Sixty-Nine Her- Scotty
4) Winner- #88 I’m Throwing A Party Between My Legs. Wanna Come?- Amy
Outstanding Individuals:
On the Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Jill Bob
Your Host as well as holding down the Bar- Dave
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #88 I’m Throwing A Party Between My Legs. Wanna Come?- Amy
Third Place- $10- # SC- Hi. My Name Is Super Crab. Bitch- Jake
Second Place- $15- #22 Herbal Assault- Chainsaw Sisters Racing
First Place- $25- #69 Sixty-Nine Her- Scotty
Time:
It’s not about time in Hoagland
Man oh man oh man! What an excellent night of Racing in Crabsville USA. The Chainsaw Sisters Racing Team does a rare summer appearance with a Road Trip no less. The Team got there early and did the Ribs. The girls got quarter slabs and the Men got halves. Dave comes down from Michigan to snag Second Place and lighten his tab.
Second Race in a row that Supe pulls the Big Brown and falters in the Third Leg of Crab Racing’s Triple Crown (First Race, First Semi, First Place) and misses the Mythical Corvette. The former Second Fastest Crab In The World (#55) actually wins a heat, but it happens to be the same heat as Super Crab. Also, the Semis fill up with the first three Heat winners and then the winner of the last Heat gets the fourth Semi. That’s Crab Racing.
The Crusty little fellows return to The Three Kings on August 8th. Sign-up begins at 7:30 with the Obligatory Shell-Hauling starting at 8:00. Get there early and try the Ribs! until then, he’s Sonny Starr.
Ciao for nao
j
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