Chimichanga Cheesy Burrito!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! I was two thirds of the way into a very polite bottle of White Zinfandel when I realized that I had yet to enlighten my half dozen readers with the results from the most recent round of Crab Racing at Folkie's. I apologize and will set forth to immediately rectify this terrible error.
Huge crowd tonite in The Friendly Confines. They start lining up shortly after seven o'clock, trying to get the best Crab and a shot at that $90 First Prize. (This is actually the lead-in from Beers Of The World Crab Racing in August, and apart from the fact that we're running for $80 rather than $90, it works perfectly). Our friends from Grand Rapids, the Michigan Sixty-Niners, have returned and they've multiplied mightily, bringing a mob reminiscent of Facial Shot Racing or the Goondock Saints on their best days. Welcome, we're happy to have you. Joining M69 tonite are the top four teams in the League Standings, Sapphire Racing League, Team Hinkey (short one TT, but bolstered nonetheless), the Crabby Young Pharts, and the Screamin' Seamen Racing Team. Steve Schrader is our lovely host, Ricky the Four Inch Wonder® is behind the bar, Thursday Night Shane is in the kitchen, and Rhonda is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! While the grape is in my glass this evening, we have gathered to celebrate the grain! It's time for-
Beers of the World Crab Racing
PreRace:
Some of this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And there’s always this.
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) 28
2) Jefferson City
3) Georgia
4) Judy Garland
5) Theodore
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Jera
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #62 Whorehopper- Eric
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #84 Swallow- Michigan Sixty-Niners (M69)
3) Winner- #87 Crabs Sold Out. Syphilis Half Price- Team Hinkey (TH)
4) Winner- #6 John Doe- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)
5) Winner- #5 She Said Fuq Me Silly, So I Put On A Clown Suit- Screamin' Seamen (SS)
6) Winner- #35 Abe Froman, Sausage King Of Chicago- COF
7) Winner- #01 I Can't Get No Satisfaction- Rochelle
8) Winner- #11 Thank Your Mom For Not Swallowing Me- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
Halftime:
Some of this.
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #64 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- TH
Halftime Entries:
Nope. Natural Sellout
10) Winner- #27 Fuq Sobriety- Chris
11) Winner- 26 Don't Trust A Ho, CUZ THE HO DON'T TRUST YOU!!!-SRL
The Wave
12) Winner- Super Crab, The House Crab. More About Him Later
13) Winner- #54 Lonely Boner M69
14) Winner- #40 Aerosmith- TH
15) Winner- #41 Sorry About Your Face. And Hair- TH
16) Winner- #75 These Crabs Look Familiar. Do You Know Matt Hughes?- TH
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
1) Winner- #64 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- Team Hinkey
2) Winner- #35 Abe Froman, Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Pharts
3) Winner- #87 Crabs Sold Out. Syphilis Half Price- Team Hinkey
4) Winner- #6 John Doe- Crabby Old Pharts
Outstanding Individuals:
Your Lovely Host- Steve Schrader
Behind The Bar- Ricky Four Inch
In The Kitchen- Thursday Night Shane
On The Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Rhonda
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #35 Abe Froman, Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Pharts
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt- #87 Crabs Sold Out. Syphilis Half Price- Team Hinkey
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Krab Kash (the next best thing to free)- #64 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- Team Hinkey
First Place- $80 in Folkie’s Krab Kash (ditto)- #6 John Doe- Crabby Old Pharts
Time:
On it beeotch
Team Hinkey grabs Second and Third and they get bookended by the Crabby Ones, truly a great night of racing. The Sapphires have an off night and that once seemingly insurmountable lead seems a little more surmountable, if you will. Only five more races to go. This is getting good.
The next race in our little chase for the title comes on Wednesday October 28th at 8:00 PM. That date is also the beginning of this year's World Series, so I'll bet a donut to a dollar that we'll be racing on the classic Baseball Crab Racing Surface. Until then, he's Sonny Starr, good night everybody!
Ciao for nao
j
Comments